"Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep." -Romans 12:15
I found out this weekend two of my friends are pregnant. I am happy for them. It is a joyful time in their life and I know they wait in anticipation to hold their sweet babies. I can rejoice for them. I trust the Lord will allow me to be gracious towards them during this time in their life.
I also wept this weekend because of the news. I wept because I don't understand why their babies are living and mine aren't. I don't at ALL want anyone's child to perish- yuck, I can't even think about wanting that or meaning that is how I feel. Rather, it is just hard to deal with my loss coupled with their gain. This news opened a can of worms I have tried so hard to keep shut: depression and fear. I know the Lord is capable of delivering me from these negative emotions, but at times, it feels like this journey won't ever end. And I know part of it won't- the memory of their tiny footprints they have left upon my heart.
Today, I am asking the Lord to swiftly deliver me from this depression. I am asking for help to rejoice with those who rejoice as He helps others weep with those who weep. I am asking for His gentle hand to be upon me every time a reminder comes my way that my babies' dwelling place is in Heaven, while other babies' are on this earth- I know He has made His dwelling place in my heart. And I am holding onto hope for the future.
