Y'all: I use to dream about Friday night. Partly because I could lay around and do nothing after a week of chasing sweet, yet crazy Kindergarten students and partly, because I could socialize with my peers. This Friday what am I doing? I am on Pinterest. My son is currently crying in his crib refusing to go to sleep because it's still light outside (do you like how I assume I know what he is thinking?) and my sweet husband is at a conference with our pastors regarding how to love others better. I am proud of him... And I am mad that I am home alone on a Friday night. I can be both, right? I am giving myself 10 more minutes for my son to stop crying and then I will go in and comfort him. I am not all about the "crying it out" method- or as the mom community would call it: "CIO." Side note: has anyone else noticed the ridiculous amount of abbreviations mothers/pregnant women use? I had to google the abbreviations when I was pregnant. DD=due date. TTC= trying to conceive. And then I became a mom and people started saying things like "E.A.S.Y" (Eat/activity/sleep/YOU time) and CIO=cry.it.out. SPEAK ENGLISH PEOPLE! I would now say "I digress," but that saying is annoying to me... so I will stick to my favorite "anyway."
Anyway. I am grateful to have a sweet, little boy in his crib right now. (By the way, it's been 3 minutes and he has stopped crying. Haters- don't worry, not 3 minutes total- 3 minutes since I said I would go and pick him up and comfort him. Daylight savings time-- you are both my friend and enemy). As grateful as I am for this baby boy, I didn't think my Friday nights would entail me being on Pinterest, scarfing down a handful of kale and some chips, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I really wouldn't. It's not glamorous. It's not necessarily "fun," but it is rewarding and it is the best thing I have ever done- being a mommy. I am grateful I have a little boy that needs me to stay inside/at home with him. But sometimes I have a pity party, party of one. I just feel like as "rewarding" as this is, it isn't glamorous and it isn't easy. It's amazing and it's hard. It's fun and it's exhausting. It makes me come alive in a way I didn't know was possible and it makes me wonder who I really am. It is the best, hardest, most rewarding, intense and humbling job I have ever had and if that means I spend every, single Friday night on Pinterest while the rest of the world goes out and takes selfies and puts them on Instagram, then it is okay. It is okay because God didn't call me to live for myself. He called me to love and boy oh boy, have I learned (and am learning) what it is means to sacrificially love. Thank you, Jesus for this opportunity. And thank you for Pinterest.
