Christmas Season

The craziest weekend of the year just ended, ushering us into what is suppose to be a holy time of year: The Christmas season.  Thanksgiving Day I went to Wal-Mart in need of cheddar cheese for the green bean casserole I was requested to make for our Thanksgiving dinner.  It was eerily quiet, as it was only 10:00AM, and the madness of Black Friday (Really, Black Thursday) had yet to start.  While roaming the aisles, I found myself shimmying through and over huge crates covered in saran wrap with the coming hour's deals... "Buy this toy for $20 - BLACK FRIDAY ONLY."  And while I was there, I felt tears brimming in my eyes.  I was overcome with sadness of what our culture seems to concentrate on when we are to be giving thanks for what we already have.  It seems with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, many of us get caught up in the consumerism of it all.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good deal just like anyone else.  I appreciate saving money when I can, and now that I am a "stay-at-home-mom," our sole source of income comes from my husband.  I am grateful.  But I have a hard time when the season that is suppose to be marked with first gratitude and then reverence of our Savior's birth turns into a total marketing scheme. And we take the bait.

I find myself wondering how I am suppose to raise a son in this sort of environment.  How am I suppose to teach him to value the coming and birth of our Beloved Savior while presents, toys, want, want, want are constantly ingrained into what seems to be every fiber of our being?

I realize it really has to start with me (and my husband).  I have got to get back to the simplicity of what this season means.  It is a holy time.  It is a time for family and a time to reflect on what we have and feel grateful.  It is a time to give to those in need, as opposed to continue to feed my (and my family's) wants.  It is a time for us to be "Merry" because we have so much to celebrate.  As the lyrics to
"Holy Night" ring, we have the "thrill of hope, [as] the weary world rejoices!  For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!"  I have much to be merry about this holiday and Christmas season.

(This adorable card and others like it can be found here). 

He Made It!

I will spare everyone the lame excuses as to why I am not keeping up with this thing.  I will also make the empty promise that I plan to do a better job! :)

With that being noted... for those that do follow this blog and are wondering if our son arrived safely... (I have been getting your emails!)... HE DID!

Our sweet Elijah Rush McPherson was welcomed into the world on July 26th, 2013.  After 26 long, hard hours of labor, the doctor safely delivered him into my arms (via c-section).  He weighed in at a whopping 8lb5oz which was a surprise for me because everyone thought I would have a 6 or 7lb baby.  Ha!  We are adjusting to our new life at home and are all very sleepy!  It is, of course, worth it. 

Here we are the morning after delivery!

A Gender. A Name. Procrastination.

Woops... Didn't mean to go this long without blogging.  I think about things "worthy" of writing about all the time, but I don't get around to doing it for many reasons.  The main reason being I usually think about what I would say when I am drifting off to sleep, or when I am thinking sarcastic/snarky thoughts in my car... neither of which are good times to make a post.

With that being said, I was correct:  We are having a boy.  I am excited.  I have heard little boys love their mamas and I am eager to meet him.  We will name him Elijah Rush McPherson.  Daniel will call him Elijah and I will call him Elijah Rush.  Identity crisis much?  Considering I grew up with five names, the least of which couldn't fit in the bubbles on standardized testing, I think he'll be fine going by two.  We didn't end up using my favorite name.  I am still sad about it-though I love Elijah Rush-but the Lord revealed to me in a dream we were to name our child Elijah.  Die to self, Anne.  Plus, Daniel and I are excited about the meaning behind it and grateful God laid it on our hearts.  As I acknowledged before, while names are important, we didn't want to put too much stalk in a name, but we feel blessed the Lord chose to reveal one to us and we will follow. :)

I love him so much already, but I am not into all the planning.  I think it's two-fold.  A) I am a procrastinator when I am overwhelmed and this is overwhelming.  Things I think I can accomplish easily and/or am confident doing, I will do in two seconds... this business... I procrastinate.  B) I don't get why our culture makes us think we need all. this. stuff. to raise a child.  I am just not sure 50% of it is actually necessary.  Do I really need a Baby Bjorn, Ergo, and a Moby Wrap? Will one or the other not suffice? Don't get me wrong, I am grateful I have the means to invest in things that make raising a child easier, but I don't know where to draw the line.  If I bought everything Target & Babies R 'Us suggested I buy, I think I would be like Inspector Gadget or a woman with mechanical arms sitting on her couch watching the machines, inventions, iPads, etc., raise my child for me all the while pressing a button and moving only to change a diaper!!!  So, where do I start?  What should I actually invest in and what isn't necessary?  It is just overwhelming.  Talking through things with some friends this past weekend helped a lot.  I am glad other people have gone before me and can offer their advice regarding which purchases are or aren't necessary.  I also know everyone parents differently, but I just don't want to overdo it on the "things."

In sum: We're having a baby boy named Elijah Rush and we are so grateful and lucky to already call him our son.  Regarding the nursery, I should get on with the planning and preparing- like yesterday.  I can't procrastinate forever.

What's in a name?

Here we are... 2 weeks from finding out the gender of our sweet baby and being bombarded with the same question, "What will you name him/her?"

Well for starters, I don't know if this little one is a boy or a girl... I have my suspicions, but it hasn't been confirmed.

Secondly, I don't know what to name our baby yet.  I don't mind when people ask but, it makes me laugh when people ask some of the names you like, you tell them, and then they say, "That's the name I wanted to use!"  And they're not pregnant.  Pregnant ladies or moms, do ya feel me?  It just makes me feel awkward... or like I need to apologize...  It is definitely a quiet moment when that happens.  So then it makes me not want to share any names.  And there is nothing wrong at all with families deciding not to do that.  It is just not for me.  I want to tell everyone the name of our sweet baby.  Then, there are the people who feel inclined to tell you what to name your child.  That's equally uncomfortable.  And sometimes I have to bite my lip from laughing at some of the names.  :)

So here we are two weeks out from knowing if Baby McPherson is a boy or a girl and having no idea what to name him or her.

With our last pregnancy, Daniel and I were super diligent to pray for the Lord to reveal to us, in some way, what to name our twins.  It's cool because the day we found out they went to Heaven 2 names we had never even considered were revealed to us.  Separately.  God laid Emma Kate upon my heart.  Upon looking up the meaning I discovered her name means: Completely Pure.  Daniel said he felt like we needed to name our son Sadler which means: Carpenter.  We like to think he is up there making some sweet tools, etc. with Jesus. :)

Daniel and I both believe in the meaning of names... not the extent we are superstitious, but we don't want our child's name to mean something awful.  Sadly, a name we both love for a girl means "Princess of Darkness" or "Evil One" No. Thank. You.  :)  And there are some boy names I have had to throw out, too.

We are back to the drawing board and praying about a name.  At the end of the day, I don't think it matters all that much, but I do think its cool to pray about it regardless. :)

Mostly, I want a healthy/happy baby.  And I promise to let everyone know the name as soon as we figure it out!  Step One: Find out the gender :)

new mercies

The story of how this baby came into being is filled with little miracles and mercies.

It all started on October 2nd. I woke up feeling sick and before I could debate if I should call into work, I looked down and my phone was dialing the number to tell them I wouldn't be in. I knew the Lord wanted me to stay home with Him that day. I was so spiritually sick that it was having physical effects. (Headaches, chills, etc.) I knew I needed a break through. I will spare the long details of what all transpired, but I had a legit deliverance that day. I sat on my back porch for hours writing in my journal, praying, and listening to a voice (through mp3) of someone reading Scripture over me. For the first time since we lost the twins, I felt like real, deep healing was coming swiftly. And while not everything is promised to us in the Bible, sometimes the Spirit speaks to us in real, tangible ways... And that day He spoke healing into my heart. The details were not clear, but my spirit knew it would be soon. I need only trust and obey. For the first time since July 27th, I had hope. Real hope. Hope that only comes from above. Hope not only in the promise of a child, but hope in the promise of my Redeemer. I believed.

The month of October still followed a roller coaster of emotions. At times, more intense than previous months (in light of depression) because I had a promise to stand on, and the enemy would do anything to abate my hope in God. But the entire month, I tried very hard to use the Sword of Spirit to fight him.

With this pregnancy, God is redeeming the month of July for me. I think it was my very first entry about our loss on this blog where I wrote, "I hate July." And I did. I told Daniel as late as the week before I found out I was pregnant with this child that I wanted to move away during the month of July. I couldn't be here in the heat with the reminder. And God so graciously is letting this baby's due date be July 23rd. Redemption.

We are suppose to take Clomid to get pregnant. I have been told I "don't ovulate well without help." Daniel and I weren't even officially "trying" and this baby is on the way without Clomid! (There is nothing wrong with taking Clomid- it's just a blessing we didn't need it). When you take Clomid there is so much pressure. You have to do everything at the right time and you only have a couple month window with use of the medicine. Again, praise the Lord we were spared this!

67 days: My dear friend Elisabeth starting writing me letters about one month after I lost the babies. She wrote me 67 letters- usually they were notecards with verses on them. (The number 67 is significant) I didn't know this, but she prayed throughout the duration of sending me letters that upon receiving the last letter, if it pleased God, I would be pregnant again. She also prayed every day God would redeem the month of July for me. Somehow in someway. He answered both of her prayers.

God is amazing. He is in the details. And the blessings in our story are so evident. I know God will do what He wants and He will accomplish it in a way that is best for His Glory. But, I am so grateful He graciously allowed tangible answers to prayers and blessings for my husband and I in this. There are too many to recount and I know there are more on the way. I thank my God for Emma Kate and Sadler's life. I thank my God for their stamp on my heart. And I thank my God for entrusting me with their lives and the life of this precious child. He is good and His love DOES endure forever. I know the road ahead will still bring it's trials, but I believe He will never leave me or forsake me. Amen.

EXCITING NEWS!

We will welcome a precious baby into this world July 2013!  

(The details of our precious miracle are worth reading! Stop by sometime this weekend to get the full story. I will post more then!)