mid week mania

Humpday is suppose to be a great day... I mean, they even have a commercial about it where a camel debuts declaring it's "humpday." But this week, I wish it were Friday.  Well, I actually wish it were Saturday evening seeing as I have too many commitments on Saturday morning, as does my husband, and I won't get any reprieve until then.  

My week started out on a good (ha!) foot: Monday morning in the middle of a deep sleep I was assaulted with my husband handing me my son saying "here, take him, I need to shower right now!!!" (actually he needed to do something else but I'll save him at least a shred of dignity).  So in a total delirious state I took Elijah and began to feed him.  This didn't go over too well because he was so congested he couldn't breathe. I tended to that issue, fed him, and as I was beginning to wake up enough to realize I had my sweet son in my arms, I looked down at his precious face just in time for him to projectile vomit all over my face. and chest. and sheets. and hair.  This all happened before 7:00AM.  Now, to all you haters that think "uh... I don't want to hear about your kid's snot and puke" then quit reading, this blog won't be for you going forward.  And I could be worse.  I could be a mom that posts every picture of my son's accomplishments or tells you he "tried peas today and didn't like them," but I won't do that.  Or I won't do that each post anyway.  ;) 

Now, it is Wednesday and my precious, teething son (and he really is quite agreeable despite the teething) and I have been stuck in the house all.week. because of the rain.  I know rain is necessary and I know it helps my pathetic excuse of a garden grow, but COME ON.  This momma needs to get out of the house with her precious baby and she needs to experience the sun on her face and the need to wear short sleeves.  (Arkansas, I do not appreciate 50 degree weather in the middle of May.  Can I get an Amen?  Thank you.)  Despite the midweek mania, but sweet in laws did come by today and offer to watch Elijah while I went to "town" to buy some new tennis shoes for the first time in four years.  Can you tell I am an avid athlete?  I also had time to eat lunch by myself.  (I use to feel sorry for that girl eating alone in a restaurant, now, I totally understand her).  Sadly the whole tennis shoe ordeal lasted 5 minutes.  I walked in the store, saw the pair I wanted, tried them on and left.  I didn't even buy the socks they had "on sale" for $15/pair.  No thank you- I will stick to Hanes and call it a day.  

I guess this week I just feel a little out of sorts because my house is in disarray (well my neglected bedroom and bathroom).  (I HATE cleaning my bathroom.)  (I HATE sharing a bathroom with a boy- their hygiene is sub par compared to a woman's hygiene and I have a clean husband.)  (Last week I found his disposable contacts on the bathroom floor because he couldn't "see" to throw them in the toilet.)  (Why doesn't he throw them in the trash can?)  and I keep trying to fill the void of my heart with other things like Real Housewives of New York or my new InStyle magazine that just arrived.  I guess I am writing this post simply to confess that this mommy needs some "me" time and it has to start with Jesus in the morning or at some point in the day.  And now, it is Wednesday and I have YET to spend some real time with Him.  So, my mid week mania will end now (hopefully).  I am going to spend some time with my first Love and hopefully feel restored.  And if I don't feel restored, I will still be grateful because regardless of my "feelings" He never changes.  And, I love that blogging allows me to start so many sentences with "and." :) 

A real friday night

Y'all:  I use to dream about Friday night.  Partly because I could lay around and do nothing after a week of chasing sweet, yet crazy Kindergarten students and partly, because I could socialize with my peers.  This Friday what am I doing?  I am on Pinterest.  My son is currently crying in his crib refusing to go to sleep because it's still light outside (do you like how I assume I know what he is thinking?) and my sweet husband is at a conference with our pastors regarding how to love others better.  I am proud of him... And I am mad that I am home alone on a Friday night.  I can be both, right?  I am giving myself 10 more minutes for my son to stop crying and then I will go in and comfort him.  I am not all about the "crying it out" method- or as the mom community would call it: "CIO." Side note: has anyone else noticed the ridiculous amount of abbreviations mothers/pregnant women use?  I had to google the  abbreviations when I was pregnant.  DD=due date.  TTC= trying to conceive.  And then I became a mom and people started saying things like "E.A.S.Y" (Eat/activity/sleep/YOU time) and CIO=cry.it.out. SPEAK ENGLISH PEOPLE!  I would now say "I digress," but that saying is annoying to me... so I will stick to my favorite "anyway."
Anyway.  I am grateful to have a sweet, little boy in his crib right now.  (By the way, it's been 3 minutes and he has stopped crying.  Haters- don't worry, not 3 minutes total- 3 minutes since I said I would go and pick him up and comfort him.  Daylight savings time-- you are both my friend and enemy).   As grateful as I am for this baby boy, I didn't think my Friday nights would entail me being on Pinterest, scarfing down a handful of kale and some chips, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I really wouldn't.  It's not glamorous.  It's not necessarily "fun," but it is rewarding and it is the best thing I have ever done- being a mommy.  I am grateful I have a little boy that needs me to stay inside/at home with him.  But sometimes I have a pity party, party of one.  I just feel like as "rewarding" as this is, it isn't glamorous and it isn't easy.  It's amazing and it's hard.  It's fun and it's exhausting.  It makes me come alive in a way I didn't know was possible and it makes me wonder who I really am.  It is the best, hardest, most rewarding, intense and humbling job I have ever had and if that means I spend every, single Friday night on Pinterest while the rest of the world goes out and takes selfies and puts them on Instagram, then it is okay.  It is okay because God didn't call me to live for myself.  He called me to love and boy oh boy, have I learned (and am learning) what it is means to sacrificially love.  Thank you, Jesus for this opportunity.  And thank you for Pinterest.

Blog intentions

When I first created this blog, I didn't intend for it to be a place where I documented every, little thing my family did.  I also didn't intend for it be a place where I solely wrote about the loss my husband and I experienced last summer.  Then again when I created it, we had not yet experienced that loss.  Writing about it was cathartic for me and it was real life.  It was where I was; I 'm glad I did.
While going through the loss, it was a writing journey- it let people know what I was dealing with and where I was... nowadays, my thoughts are so random and all over the place- Welcome to motherhood!!! With that being noted... while this was once a journey through grief, now it will be the continued journey through my life as a mommy and the random thoughts that accompany me as I am now staying home.  I have lots of time to think and no time to think all at once.  The newest chapter of my life and my husband's life have started and I will document (with son in tow- or please, God, sleeping!) parts of that journey here.  I will still try to stick to my blogger convictions by not wasting your time reading about my cups of coffee in the morning (though I will probably gripe here and there about how they get cold before I can finish them), or every, single thing we all did in a weekend.  But I will do updates.  And I will write about some of those things... So, will full permission from me and to me, I intend to write more (we'll see) and to write random things I find worth sharing.  Maybe some of you can relate along the way...

Christmas Season

The craziest weekend of the year just ended, ushering us into what is suppose to be a holy time of year: The Christmas season.  Thanksgiving Day I went to Wal-Mart in need of cheddar cheese for the green bean casserole I was requested to make for our Thanksgiving dinner.  It was eerily quiet, as it was only 10:00AM, and the madness of Black Friday (Really, Black Thursday) had yet to start.  While roaming the aisles, I found myself shimmying through and over huge crates covered in saran wrap with the coming hour's deals... "Buy this toy for $20 - BLACK FRIDAY ONLY."  And while I was there, I felt tears brimming in my eyes.  I was overcome with sadness of what our culture seems to concentrate on when we are to be giving thanks for what we already have.  It seems with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, many of us get caught up in the consumerism of it all.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good deal just like anyone else.  I appreciate saving money when I can, and now that I am a "stay-at-home-mom," our sole source of income comes from my husband.  I am grateful.  But I have a hard time when the season that is suppose to be marked with first gratitude and then reverence of our Savior's birth turns into a total marketing scheme. And we take the bait.

I find myself wondering how I am suppose to raise a son in this sort of environment.  How am I suppose to teach him to value the coming and birth of our Beloved Savior while presents, toys, want, want, want are constantly ingrained into what seems to be every fiber of our being?

I realize it really has to start with me (and my husband).  I have got to get back to the simplicity of what this season means.  It is a holy time.  It is a time for family and a time to reflect on what we have and feel grateful.  It is a time to give to those in need, as opposed to continue to feed my (and my family's) wants.  It is a time for us to be "Merry" because we have so much to celebrate.  As the lyrics to
"Holy Night" ring, we have the "thrill of hope, [as] the weary world rejoices!  For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!"  I have much to be merry about this holiday and Christmas season.

(This adorable card and others like it can be found here). 

He Made It!

I will spare everyone the lame excuses as to why I am not keeping up with this thing.  I will also make the empty promise that I plan to do a better job! :)

With that being noted... for those that do follow this blog and are wondering if our son arrived safely... (I have been getting your emails!)... HE DID!

Our sweet Elijah Rush McPherson was welcomed into the world on July 26th, 2013.  After 26 long, hard hours of labor, the doctor safely delivered him into my arms (via c-section).  He weighed in at a whopping 8lb5oz which was a surprise for me because everyone thought I would have a 6 or 7lb baby.  Ha!  We are adjusting to our new life at home and are all very sleepy!  It is, of course, worth it. 

Here we are the morning after delivery!

A Gender. A Name. Procrastination.

Woops... Didn't mean to go this long without blogging.  I think about things "worthy" of writing about all the time, but I don't get around to doing it for many reasons.  The main reason being I usually think about what I would say when I am drifting off to sleep, or when I am thinking sarcastic/snarky thoughts in my car... neither of which are good times to make a post.

With that being said, I was correct:  We are having a boy.  I am excited.  I have heard little boys love their mamas and I am eager to meet him.  We will name him Elijah Rush McPherson.  Daniel will call him Elijah and I will call him Elijah Rush.  Identity crisis much?  Considering I grew up with five names, the least of which couldn't fit in the bubbles on standardized testing, I think he'll be fine going by two.  We didn't end up using my favorite name.  I am still sad about it-though I love Elijah Rush-but the Lord revealed to me in a dream we were to name our child Elijah.  Die to self, Anne.  Plus, Daniel and I are excited about the meaning behind it and grateful God laid it on our hearts.  As I acknowledged before, while names are important, we didn't want to put too much stalk in a name, but we feel blessed the Lord chose to reveal one to us and we will follow. :)

I love him so much already, but I am not into all the planning.  I think it's two-fold.  A) I am a procrastinator when I am overwhelmed and this is overwhelming.  Things I think I can accomplish easily and/or am confident doing, I will do in two seconds... this business... I procrastinate.  B) I don't get why our culture makes us think we need all. this. stuff. to raise a child.  I am just not sure 50% of it is actually necessary.  Do I really need a Baby Bjorn, Ergo, and a Moby Wrap? Will one or the other not suffice? Don't get me wrong, I am grateful I have the means to invest in things that make raising a child easier, but I don't know where to draw the line.  If I bought everything Target & Babies R 'Us suggested I buy, I think I would be like Inspector Gadget or a woman with mechanical arms sitting on her couch watching the machines, inventions, iPads, etc., raise my child for me all the while pressing a button and moving only to change a diaper!!!  So, where do I start?  What should I actually invest in and what isn't necessary?  It is just overwhelming.  Talking through things with some friends this past weekend helped a lot.  I am glad other people have gone before me and can offer their advice regarding which purchases are or aren't necessary.  I also know everyone parents differently, but I just don't want to overdo it on the "things."

In sum: We're having a baby boy named Elijah Rush and we are so grateful and lucky to already call him our son.  Regarding the nursery, I should get on with the planning and preparing- like yesterday.  I can't procrastinate forever.

What's in a name?

Here we are... 2 weeks from finding out the gender of our sweet baby and being bombarded with the same question, "What will you name him/her?"

Well for starters, I don't know if this little one is a boy or a girl... I have my suspicions, but it hasn't been confirmed.

Secondly, I don't know what to name our baby yet.  I don't mind when people ask but, it makes me laugh when people ask some of the names you like, you tell them, and then they say, "That's the name I wanted to use!"  And they're not pregnant.  Pregnant ladies or moms, do ya feel me?  It just makes me feel awkward... or like I need to apologize...  It is definitely a quiet moment when that happens.  So then it makes me not want to share any names.  And there is nothing wrong at all with families deciding not to do that.  It is just not for me.  I want to tell everyone the name of our sweet baby.  Then, there are the people who feel inclined to tell you what to name your child.  That's equally uncomfortable.  And sometimes I have to bite my lip from laughing at some of the names.  :)

So here we are two weeks out from knowing if Baby McPherson is a boy or a girl and having no idea what to name him or her.

With our last pregnancy, Daniel and I were super diligent to pray for the Lord to reveal to us, in some way, what to name our twins.  It's cool because the day we found out they went to Heaven 2 names we had never even considered were revealed to us.  Separately.  God laid Emma Kate upon my heart.  Upon looking up the meaning I discovered her name means: Completely Pure.  Daniel said he felt like we needed to name our son Sadler which means: Carpenter.  We like to think he is up there making some sweet tools, etc. with Jesus. :)

Daniel and I both believe in the meaning of names... not the extent we are superstitious, but we don't want our child's name to mean something awful.  Sadly, a name we both love for a girl means "Princess of Darkness" or "Evil One" No. Thank. You.  :)  And there are some boy names I have had to throw out, too.

We are back to the drawing board and praying about a name.  At the end of the day, I don't think it matters all that much, but I do think its cool to pray about it regardless. :)

Mostly, I want a healthy/happy baby.  And I promise to let everyone know the name as soon as we figure it out!  Step One: Find out the gender :)